not avoiding

So I just wanted to say, I am not avoiding dealing with or explaining the weirdness that happened this past month. I'm just physically exhausted; not feeling well with the ear and sinus infection. Not to mention that I was BURIED in e-mail and am still working to get that taken care of. Also, I've been focusing on my apartment. I've lived here for one year and four months and I am still not fully moved in. Then there is the fact that I've bee sick off and on for six months so there was a bit of cleaning, de-cluttering and organizing that needed to happen before I can even begin to focus on finishing decorating, etc.

Then there is the whole not sleeping for a full-night. I sleep for a few hours, I'm up for a few hours, I sleep for a few hours. A lot of it has to do with my back and sinuses. Hopefully, after I get the steroid injection in my back this coming week, the sleeping will get better.

On top of that, I am still processing some of what transpired. Here's the easy part to explain:

Three things happened at once to cause my entire body to just shutdown and re-boot. (It wasn't a mental breakdown or anything like that, it was more take your body to zero and start over.) The first thing was all the medical crap of the last six months coming to a head and ending with steroid induced psychosis. The second was the major source of stress in my everyday life up and moved away. To me it was completely out-of-the-blue so my body went from being wound up tight as a drum to loosey goosey in two weeks. The third was that my nephew Derrick should have graduated from high school and turned 18. I feel HORRIBLE that the day I was admitted to the hospital was his birthday because it was his parents that were here helping me. Not the way I would have ever wanted them to spend that day or time of year, I assure you.

That's the nutshell version which will be enough for some, not enough for others. I know it's not enough for me so there will be more posts to come. I'm just taking it easy and not putting any pressure on myself, which is nice for a change. The new joke is that I'm a recovering perfectionist and control freak. Truer words were never spoken!!!!

Quick medical timeline then I'm done for today:

• September/October 2009 - I went to the Endodontist regarding a tooth pain. The tooth looked fine but my sinuses were inflamed. Assumed I was getting a sinus infection when the antibiotics worked.
• December 8, 2009 - My body's birthday present to me was for the tooth pain to come back. Started another course of antibiotics but this time when the Endodontist saw me he recommended I see an ENT (or Otolaryngologist) because there was a larger issue. Unfortunately, the timing was off because I was about to leave for California and wouldn't be back until the beginning of January.
• Christmas Day 2009 - Pain came back. Endodontist put me on a long course of antibiotics to get me through until I could get home.
• January 2010 - Waiting to see Otolaryngologist was EXCRUCIATINGLY painful. The weird dental pain was inflamming my sinuses which gave me a constant headache and wreaked havoc with my jaw joints.
• February 2010 - Finally saw Otolaryngologist and was sent for a CT Scan. As a side benefit, found out that I have a deviated septum that favors the right side, which has allowed the middle turbinate to enlarge. CT Scan revealed that it was a dental issue. After the Endo and Oto doctors consulted, my Endo and I decided that he should go into the roots and jaw so dental surgery was scheduled.
• March 2010 - One week before the dental surgery, I woke-up one morning with a pinched nerve on my right side. Rescheduling the surgery wasn't an option, unless I wanted to wait another month, which I most certainly did NOT want to do. Good news is that my Endo found the cause of the problem when he went exploring after he did two root-end resections. There was a broken off root tip left in my jaw from a difficult tooth removal back in 2003. We couldn't see it on regular dental x-rays because it was behind my cheek bone. Why it laid dormant for so long is anyone's guess. My assumption is that the dental work last June awakened it and caused inflammation/irritation which set off this comedy of errors.
• April 2010 - Finally get an MRI so that we find out I have a bulging disk pinching a nerve.
• May 2010 - Finally get in to see Neuro-Surgeon and we decided to go the non-surgical route. I start with 50mg of Elavil, an anti-depressant that also has been successful treating nerve pain. Everything is fine for a few weeks and then it is not fine and I am back to not being able to get out of bed. My dose is upped to 100mg of Elavil on Monday, May 24th. On Friday, the pain was not any better. He switches me to Gabapentin. After taking the second dose, I have a mild allergic reaction. The on-call doctor tries to start me on Lyrica but you have to have prior approval from Insurance company so instead starts me on oral steroids. I take the "shock dose" on Saturday afternoon. The pain lessens but never quite goes away. However, it is a MAJOR improvement as I was in soooo much pain previously that I wanted to claw my face off or die.
  
  The steroids are a 6-day step down pack. Everyday that I took one less pill, the pain increased. I hadn't slept much the week prior because of the amount of pain I was in; now the steroids were giving me super energy so I was still not sleeping much. Now I have to go to work and I'm feeling better but not sleeping. This stresses me out because I know we are short-handed and there is a ton of work that needs to be done. And here is where the loopy effects of the steroids shows there maybe something more going on because me + steroids + stress was not fun. Me + steroids + no-stress was very chill.

I'm going to stop here for now as I am sleepy again so I'm going back to bed. Next post will continue medical section of the saga.