Dent

Even though the official start to the challenge isn’t until tomorrow, I was feeling inspired to get to work today.  Since I’ve been avoiding this for years now, I decided to honor the urge starting with the pile of shoes at the end of the coffee table in the living room. 

I don’t have a huge collection of shoes; however, it seems that way since they are everywhere except in the shoe cubby storage unit I own.  One reason is that I can’t get to the shoe cubby because of the crap piled in front of it and another reason is I tend to kick my shoes off before I get to my bedroom where the shoe cubby is; hence, the large pile of shoes in the living room.  Once I have more work done, I plan to move the shoe cubby storage center so that’s it is right next to the door since that’s where my shoes tend to migrate.  That should make them easier to keep organized.

I did way more than 15 minutes because when I started to move the crap in front of the shoe cubbies, I decided to just tackle those piles too instead of moving them to be dealt with later.  All the experts say to only touch items once.  Apparently, the more you handle an item the more attached to it you become even if you haven’t used it in forever or don’t really like it.

The biggest emotional release of the day was getting rid of my all-time favorite pair of shoes.  I can't even remember the last time I wore them but it was probably before my ankle surgery in 2011.  If they weren't falling apart, I would have kept them.  Instead, I took pictures and released them.  I will be on the hunt for another pair as they always made me feel beautiful and like I could kick ass!!!

Once I tackled the offending piles and all of the shoes, I decided to do a quick sweep of my closet.  I went through everything that was hanging up deciding on first glance if the item should stay or go.  I’ll definitely need to go back through the items but it was a great first pass.

It was awesome to finally make some progress and make a dent in the mess that has been swallowing my life.  I got more done today with my new outlook and determination than I have in a very long time.  So exciting!!!

I decided to follow Becky Higgins’ advice and keep track of the number of items I am releasing so here are today’s numbers:

ITEMS DONATED:                             54

ITEMS TRASHED:                             14

TODAY’S RELEASE TOTAL:        68 ITEMS

Overwhelmed

This article (http://www.cgpgrey.com/blog/dialing-down) resonated with me so much!!!  I am feeling overwhelmed. Some of it is the sheer force of the grief and emotional drama I feel since losing my mom two months ago (feels like yesterday and forever at the same time). Truthfully, I've been feeling overwhelmed long before that, this just raised the level into the danger zone; increased it so quickly that I can't avoid dealing with the overwhelm any longer.  I need to declutter my mind, emotions, living/working spaces, commitments and time drains. 

There is a sharp focus that comes with grief because you literally cannot handle everything. It's all too much and my normal coping mechanisms are not working and really haven't been for a very long time.  I've been avoiding dealing with the mess and the time for avoiding has ended. All the avoidance has done is created more mess, piles on top of already heaped piles.

This time last year I committed to working on my body clutter, changing lifelong eating and moving patterns that held me back and packed on the pounds. So far I have lost 60 lbs. but now I am stuck because of all the rest of the clutter clinging to my mind, emotions, and living space.  Now I am committing to clearing all the clutter. It's a gradual process, just like the weight loss. I have a grief counselor/therapist because professional help is important. I recognize not everyone can afford that and I am very lucky to have an employer with a great benefits package. I also have an accountability partner. We met through our weight loss group last year. Then she answered the call when I sought out peeps to train with for the 5K Diabetes walk. Her friendship, wise counsel, cheerleading, support and steadfastness are invaluable. The same is true of all my FB friends and family too. I won't be hanging out on FB as much as I used to because I have a lot of excavating to do and dialing down the noise is super important to getting that done. Doesn't mean I love and care any less, just means I have a clear focus and goal for once.

As I delve deeper into this, the tales of my journey are too long for FB posts so I will be dusting off my blog or just starting a new one. I am as excited about this journey as I have been my road trips. It's all a part of trying to live life to the fullest and not feeling like I am living half a life.

Here is this month's plan:
1. Spending freeze.
2. 15 minutes per day decluttering my apartment.
3. 15 minutes per day cleaning.
4. Daily affirmations.
5. Writing every day.
6. Limiting mindless Internet time.
7. Create clear vision and maintenance plan.
8. Commit to the process everyday.

As C.G.P. Grey said: 
"For now, I’m not setting in stone rules for the rest of my life or even the rest of this month because I don’t know what the good rules are. This is an experiment in reduction, and my public commitment to it."

So here's to dialing down the collective volume and being more careful about what I let into my life.